Couple's 26-Year Marriage Gets a Boost After Overcoming Low Libido

Lucia, a 45-year-old woman, and her husband Edwin, 46, have been married for 26 years. They've faced their fair share of challenges, but one of the most significant issues they've had to overcome is Lucia's low libido.

About five years ago, Lucia's sex drive was so low that she thought she'd never want to have sex again. This was during the pandemic, and she was stressed, which might have contributed to her low libido. She also thinks that hormonal changes due to perimenopause might have played a role. Lucia didn't feel like herself, and she and Edwin were arguing more often.

When they talked about it, Edwin would say, 'What's going on? You don't want to have sex with me.' Lucia would reply, 'It's not that. I don't want to do anything.' This was stressful for both of them, especially since Edwin has always been up for sex. Lucia felt guilty because she loves Edwin and wants to make him happy.

Lucia knew that sex was something that still needed to happen in their relationship. It took her six months to a year before she went to see a doctor. The doctor put her on a supplement, which might have helped with her sex drive. However, Lucia believes that shifting her mindset was what really changed things.

She made a conscious decision to focus on making sex a priority. On days when she didn't want to have sex, Lucia would give herself a pep talk. She'd look at herself in the mirror and say, 'I am going to have sex, and I am going to enjoy it.' This mindset change helped, and the quality of their sex improved. Lucia became more adventurous, which helped get things going.

She started telling Edwin fake sexy stories about things she'd done with someone else. She'd pretend she'd met somebody while Edwin was out to get them in the mood. They also play a game called 'the stranger', where they pretend to be different people meeting for a date.

I'm at a stage in my life where I only fantasise about my wife, which is awesome.

• Edwin

Edwin, who is 46, says that physical touch is his love language. He feels most connected to Lucia when they're cuddling or getting back rubs. While he enjoys the sex they're having, the connection is the most important part for him. Edwin and Lucia have been together for 26 years, and he believes that being familiar with each other's beats makes the sex better.

They have to be careful not to follow the same script every time. There's almost a schedule to their sex life, with about 80% of their encounters happening before lunch. They're not prudes, but they do like a bit of dirty talk. Edwin and Lucia recently bought a remote-controlled toy, which they've been experimenting with.

Lucia noticed a couple of years ago that she didn't feel turned on or attractive. This was probably the only issue they've ever had sexually. For Edwin, it wasn't just the lack of sex that was frustrating; it was that Lucia was less affectionate overall. He believes that connection is how he feels loved, so it was unsettling for him.

Lucia went to see a doctor, who gave her herbal supplements. However, Edwin thinks the biggest change came from Lucia herself. She made a conscious choice to be more present, and it worked. Edwin and Lucia talk a lot about how, at the beginning of their relationship, there were butterflies. They don't get those anymore, but Edwin believes that love is a conscious decision.

Each day, when you wake up, you decide fresh that this is who you're with, and this is who you love. You choose them every day.

Their story is a testament to the fact that relationships take work, and it's normal for things to change over time. What's important is how you adapt to those changes and prioritize your relationship.

Edwin and Lucia's story is a reminder that it's possible to overcome challenges and come out stronger on the other side. They're proof that with a little bit of effort and creativity, you can keep the spark alive, even after 26 years of marriage. As they continue to navigate their relationship, they don't give up on each other. Instead, they find new ways to keep their love strong. Lucia and Edwin won't stop working on their relationship, and they won't stop loving each other.

They're living proof that love can last, and it can get better with time.