The single sharpest fact in this story is that one woman has made a conscious decision to break the cycle of trauma in her family. Who is this woman and what led her to make this choice? She grew up in a household with an Aboriginal mother and a non-Indigenous father in the 1990s, navigating racism and social pressures that often created fractures in their extended family. They're a family that didn't always know how to deal with these issues.

As a child, she watched the difficult relationship her dad had with his parents and the complex one her mum had with her foster mother and foster siblings. The underlying issue was unspoken trauma and very little emotional awareness. She didn't have the language to describe it then, but she knew it was there.

She remembers a specific incident where her grandparents told her she could come for a sleepover, only to have her grandfather pause when she called to ask, as if trying to place who she was. This experience was devastating for her. It's a memory that's stayed with her to this day.

Her parents eventually cut contact with her grandparents, and she never saw them again. Growing up without grandparents meant missing out on small things most people take for granted. They're things like asking questions about family history or having them at big milestones. She didn't have that, and it's something she's always been aware of.

Her mum's side of the family carried a different kind of complexity, with her mum having been taken from her birth mother and raised by a non-Indigenous foster family. This experience left little room to acknowledge the grief or loss she carried. It's a pain that's been passed down, and it's one she's trying to break.

It wasn't until she became a mother herself that her perspective began to shift. Motherhood made her realize that she wanted to break the cycle of trauma and build a better life for her children. She doesn't want them to go through what she did.

Breaking cycles often means holding love and disappointment in the same breath. It means acknowledging the strength of those who came before you while choosing a different path for the generations who come after. It's a delicate balance, but it's one she's committed to.

As a therapist, she sees how these patterns don't begin with one person — they're carried, adapted, and often misunderstood across generations. She's determined to create a different story for her children, one where they feel safe coming to her when they struggle. She wants them to know that they can talk to her about anything.

In her work, she explains that she wants her children to learn how to regulate their emotions, not suppress them. This approach to parenting is sometimes questioned, but she's clear about her goals. She won't compromise on this, as she knows it's essential for their well-being.

Her parents are now learning to be more emotionally attuned grandparents, and they can see the changes she is trying to make. It's a remarkable shift, considering their own experiences with trauma and family dynamics. They're trying to be more supportive, and it's a process they're all going through together.

The journey of breaking cycles is not easy, and it often comes with grief — grief for the childhood you didn't have and grief for the relationships that may never become what you hoped they could be. Yet, with one person deciding to change the story, the possibility for a different future emerges. It's a future that's full of hope, and it's one she's working towards every day.

  • The woman's family experienced racism and social pressures in the 1990s.
  • She grew up without grandparents due to her parents' decision to cut contact.
  • Her mum was taken from her birth mother and raised by a non-Indigenous foster family.
  • She became a mother and decided to break the cycle of trauma for her children.
  • As a therapist, she sees how patterns are carried across generations.