Lost in Paris and Found in Sydney
You wouldn't think that a lost letter in France could lead to a hilarious conversation with an Aussie expat, but such is life. Donald Hawes from Peel in New South Wales wrote to Column8 with a tale of being lost in northern Paris. As a tourist, Donald and his partner Ana had walked for miles from the railway station with their luggage, trying to find a French friend's place. But it was getting dark, and they were lost.
Just as they were about to give up, a sole human on a foot scooter passed by, and they asked for directions in French. The scooter rider, who turned out to be Ana's boyfriend's friend, was taken aback. 'Are you Donald and Ana?' he asked in English. Donald and Ana were relieved to be found - literally.
### Scavenger Hunt Winners: Commerce Faculty
But the comedy doesn't stop at Parisian streets. Jim Pollitt from Wahroonga in New South Wales recalled a Foundation Day scavenger hunt in the 1960s at the University of NSW. It's said that the commerce faculty won handsomely, thanks to one of their own, Michael Grace, who happened to work at the Michael Grace department store on Broadway.
A shop mannequin was among the high-scoring items on the scavenger hunt list. One visit to the store, followed by the arrival of a pantechnicon - and the rest, as they say, is history.
### Old Farts and Lost Socks Unite
In a surprising turn of events, Column8 received a flood of letters about 'Old Fart Ale', a beer made by The Lost Sock Ranch. Suzanne Saunders from Wadeville proudly declared, 'The blowout of the old-fart thread was unexpected and completely necessary - always better out than in.'
With a wink, Suzanne revealed that there's an Old Fart Oil made locally. 'An old fart and a lost sock walked into a bar' could be an opening for Column8 readers to unleash their wit.
### The Real Meaning of Monoculture?
While Column8 readers were indulging in Aussie humour, Michael Dunlop from Surfers Paradise in Queensland pondered the meaning of monoculture. 'Does it mean a bland diet of meat and three veg and, on occasions, fish and chips?' he asked.
The term monoculture is often associated with agriculture, where the same crop is grown repeatedly. But in Michael's case, it seems like a question about food choices.
### A Word on Curmudgeons
The letters also sparked a debate about age and identity. Mike Parton from Tamworth requested to be referred to as a curmudgeon instead of an old fart. 'It sounds so much more dignified,' he said.
With Column8's readers displaying their sharp wit and creative language, it seems like 'old fart' might not be the only label that's up for debate.
### The Bio
Column8 readers weren't the only ones reminiscing about the good old days. Don Bain from Port Macquarie observed that the term 'bioscope' or 'bio' was used in South Africa to refer to movies. 'I see from the Letters page that, in her youth, this column's own Coral Button always referred to movies as 'the pictures',' he noted.
With the bioscope's popularity waning, Column8 readers are left to ponder the evolution of language and film terminology.
### FIFA Academy's Acting Skills
Kent Mayo from Uralla praised the FIFA Academy for its dramatic flair. 'Yes, the World Cup has more actors feigning death throes than a Sylvester Stallone movie,' he quipped.
In the spirit of good sportsmanship, Column8 readers will be watching the next World Cup with a keen eye for acting skills.
### A New Name for 'Credit Thief'
Col Burns from Lugarno offered a fresh spin on soccer-related jargon. 'Narcissoccer' - a term more fitting, he reckoned, than 'credit thief'.
With Column8 readers trading witty remarks, it seems like 'narcissoccer' might just be the winner in this game of creative nomenclature.
### Passing Wind on the High Seas
A chance encounter with a yacht in Nambucca Heads led Daniel Flesch from Bellingen to ponder the name 'Passing Wind'. 'A reasonable pun, and quite possibly named by an old fart,' he speculated.
Perhaps, Daniel thought, 'Passing Wind' was a sign of things to come - a world where even sailing vessels can join in on the Aussie humour.
### A Dignified Life
In the midst of all the joking and wordplay, Mike Parton from Tamworth brought up an important point. 'With all the recent talk of grumpy old farts, I much prefer to be referred to as a curmudgeon,' he wrote.
It seems like the term 'curmudgeon' might just be the perfect antidote to being labelled an 'old fart'.